Kosher Queers

72 — Vayakhel-Pekudei: Masculinity is a Solitary Prison

March 11, 2021 Jaz Twersky and Lulav Arnow
Kosher Queers
72 — Vayakhel-Pekudei: Masculinity is a Solitary Prison
Show Notes Transcript

This week, we talk scent sensitivity, princes who are separate from the people, and which parts of gender are worth salvaging. Plus, pet peeves around new gender trinaries and special days in the calendar where the haftarah has literally nothing to do with the parsha (including this week)!

Full transcript here.

Lulav negatively reviews Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. Jaz has a new part-time job at Yente Over the Rainbow, where you can go if you're looking for a queer Jewish partner. 

This week's reading is Ezekiel 45:16–46:18.  Next week's reading is Isaiah 43:21–44:23.

Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by Reuben Shachar Rose. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.

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Jaz: Hey Lulav. 

Lulav: Hi Jaz. 

Jaz: What is something cool or queer or Jewish that happened to you this week?

Lulav: Okay, so I don't have very clear things. I’m just going to throw three things out there that may or may not be cool or queer or Jewish. So one is that in like, 2014, 2015, 2016 there were a bunch of people who had URLs based on the book title Rubyfruit Jungle on Tumblr and I hated all of them but I also didn't know any of them. So when I was getting my blood drawn yesterday, two days ago, I reckoned that I would pick up the original book from Family Tree Clinic and read it to see if it was any good, unlike all those people who seem nasty and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. 

Jaz: Okay. Do tell. 

Lulav: So, I'm not sure what level of fictionalized it is, but it is definitely like, a novel rather than a memoir or anything. 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: And it is about a white lesbian growing up in the south and trying to live in New York at film school and along the way, there are a bunch of sexual escapades and it’s got a lot of racism in it which— 

Jaz: Huh. 

Lulav: It’s period typical because this is like the mid 60s but also that sucks and— 

Jaz: It does! 

Lulav: I don't necessarily want to read that. 

Jaz: Mmm. 

Lulav: But sure does give you a great perspective on to what extent white people view Black people as human—

Jaz: Ohh!

Lulav: In the 60s, yeah. 

Jaz: That’s brutal. 

Lulav: The author seems to be slightly better, but doesn’t... like, the counterpoint to the mom character and other people saying horrifically racist stuff is just like, yeah, Black people seem fine to me. 

Jaz: Got it. 

Lulav: Yeah. So if anybody was interested in reading Rubyfruit Jungle in which a lesbian has a lot of sex with a variety of people, have that front of mind, that it is very frankly racist. 

Jaz: Mmm. 

Lulav: And also has a bunch of weird sex stuff, so. 

Jaz: It’s considered an important lesbian historical novel or something, right? Like, that's why people refer to it?

Lulav: Right, because at the time there weren't like, bildungsromans about lesbians. 

Jaz: Got it. 

Lulav: Anyway, so that was one thing. Another thing is that I changed my patches and feel better so great that hormones have a major effect on your body, huh?

Jaz: For the listeners who are like, "Lulav, what on earth does that mean?", can you explicate further?

Lulav: Right, so because my body makes hormones that I don't necessarily want in that particular balance, I have to use exogenous hormones, hormones from outside my body, to make it better and one of the ways I do that is by applying patches to my skin, which give me estrogen through my skin. And I hadn't changed my patches in a while — I really need to keep better track of that — but anyway I was feeling like… weird and bad and I just changed them and now I feel less depressed and achy. 

Jaz: Oh good! (chuckles) 

Lulav: Yeah. I also got a referral for a surgery that would change my hormonal balance, but apparently I need a bunch of letters for that so that sucks. And then the other thing was my roommate Ridley and I built some shelving last week or something that my roommate Theo had brought and they didn't actually like that because it had been a while without them building it, but they had decided that they actually wanted to build it that day and then they woke up and we had already made it so that was sad and I felt bad and so the Jewish thing here is that I'm trying to do teshuva by giving them an opportunity to work on another cool furniture thing that we just got in the mail and like, taking a back seat on that and not trying to micromanage. (chuckles) 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: So, yeah. That's my plan. I am really excited about this kitchen pantry which is going to go in our dining room and probably hold some plates and stuff and instead of unpacking the whole thing and setting it up right after we finish this recording, I'm just gonna chill and I'm going to let Theo have fun with it and just offer them any help they need. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: So thats three things all of which are like, related but not clearly cool and queer or Jewish, you know?

Jaz: Many of them seem adjacent to that. 

Lulav: Oh yes. They’re like, topical, but anyway, Jaz what is something cool and queer and Jewish that’s happened in your life recently?

Jaz: Well, so I have a new part time job. 

Lulav: Oh heck yes. 

Jaz: (laughs) So I am working part time in addition to my regular full time job as a project manager for a website which some of our listeners may have heard of and some of them may not have heard of that’s called Yenta Over the Rainbow and Yenta Over the Rainbow is a specifically Jewish queer matchmaking site. 

Lulav: That's amazing. 

Jaz: Or dating site if you'd prefer but I had originally written to them cuz I saw stuff on their website about how they were hoping to branch out into more matchmakers in the coming year, and I wrote to them and said, "hey, could I be a matchmaker? My qualifications are that I co-host this Jewish and queer podcast and I am a trans Jew dating another trans Jew. Can I be a matchmaker"? (Lulav chuckles) And it's a small project so the CEO wrote right back to be and said, "sure, let’s interview you", and I interviewed and eventually we discovered that I actually didn't have enough hours available in the week due to running this podcast and also having a full-time job. 

Lulav: And also all of the other stuff that you just take on all the time. 

Jaz: And also all of the other things that I do. 

Lulav: Yeah, about five months ago you told me to not let you take on any more things, so. 

Jaz: I have taken on very few new things since then, relatively speaking. 

Lulav: I am impressed by your restraint considering that you agreed to do a podcast like two years ago with someone who you barely knew. 

Jaz: Okay but in my defense, this is a very cool podcast and I know you now!

Lulav: Right? I should hope. 

Jaz: (laughs) Uhm... So I—  yes. I'm not going to be a matchmaker but I am going to help them keep the site running and operative so that other people can use it in the best way possible. 

Lulav: Heck yes. 

Jaz: And I’m going to be working a few hours a week to help it run and the function of the site for those of you who might be unfamiliar, is it’s basically for any kind of queer Jews to go on and you fill out this long survey and then it will match you twice a week with people who feel like they’d be good matches for you and some of it is done algorithmically and there’s going to be real human matchmakers who are going to look at your profile and talk to you and stuff like that, which is such a cool thing that’s going to be happening. 

Lulav: Yeah. It sounds great. 

Jaz: And also I went through and looked through the like, initial questionnaire that people fill out and stuff and anyway, I'm excited to work with this website. 

Lulav: It sounds amazing. 

Jaz: Yeah. So that is the thing in my life that’s most cool and queer and Jewish all at the same time. 

Lulav: (laughs) Sure is. Do you want to drop the big news, or? (Jaz laughs) Is that like a later thing?

Jaz: Sure. Okay. 

Lulav: So Jaz, do you have any other big news related to ways that you will be spending your time? 

Jaz: I do. Yes, so I got into rabbinical school today. 

Lulav: Yay. 

Jaz: And I am very excited about it. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Name of the rabbinical school redacted until I hear back and know where I'm actually going, but I got my first rabbinical school acceptance today, so I am going to school. 

Lulav: Yay. Also you applied to like, nine percent of the rabbinical schools versus the number of colleges that you applied to, right? When you were an undergrad?

Jaz: I applied to two rabbinical schools and I applied to 15 undergrad schools. 

Lulav: Oh only 15, nevermind then. 

Jaz: Yes. This is wild because I currently also live with a roommate who's applying for law schools and is applying to maybe like 18 schools, something like that, so rabbinical schools are just really wild. 

Lulav: Good for her. 

Jaz: Right? It's just a very different process. (Lulav laughs) But also this was a very fast turnaround. I interviewed for the school two days ago and I heard back today, so. 

Lulav: Yeah, It's cuz you're great and people like you. 

Jaz: Awww. Also because I think they have a much lower number of applicants and so they can look at everybody individually and I think there's a certain amount of like, they already saw my application and then they interviewed me and they just discussed afterwards, okay so do we like them or do we not like them? And they decided that they liked me. 

Lulav: Listen, the black death also led to like, a major change in how social structures work so uh... 

Jaz: That is true but I dont think this particular thing was COVID-related. 

Lulav: Okay. You think that they just generally have fewer people applying?

Jaz: Than law schools? I sure do. 

Lulav: Oh, well okay. (both laugh) Okay, that was the point of comparison. Gotcha. 

Jaz: Or any of the undergraduate schools I went to. 

Lulav: Uh huh. Thats fair. 

Jaz: I mean I went to one undergrad, but any of the undergraduate places I applied to. 

Lulav: (giggles) Anyway. 

Jaz: Ready to start the episode?

Lulav: Yes, after— oh my God we've been talking for 16 minutes. Okay, okay. okay. Lets go. 

[Brivele intro]


Lulav: Welcome to Kosher Queers, a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions! Each week we bring you queer takes on Torah. They’re Jaz — 

Jaz: And she’s Lulav — 

Lulav: And we’re here to joke about Judaism and talk Tanakh together. Today, our chevruta is learning the haftarah of Vayakhel-Pekudei, which is Yechezkiel 45:16-46:18. For the English speakers, which includes me like, a month and a half ago, that's Ezekiel.

Jaz: Yeah, although I have to throw in a slight correction to what you are saying.

Lulav: Oh?

Jaz: Which isn't the normal haftarah for Vayakhel-Pekudei.

Lulav: Oh.

Jaz: That haftarah is in | Kings and distinctly more related to the parsha, honestly, but what we're reading is the haftarah that comes on this particular day because this week is Shabbat HaChodesh—

Lulav: Mm hmm.

Jaz: Which is to say it's right before the beginning of the month of Nissan which includes Pesach.

Lulav: Okay.

Jaz: So the day that Shabbat HaChodesh has its own haftarah reading which is what we're reading today.

Lulav: Okay. So we like, made a decision, huh?

Jaz: No, like this is the standard thing to do.

Lulav: Oh.

Jaz: I mean, somebody made a decision but it wasn't you and I.

Lulav: Okay so you're just saying that in every other year we read something from I Kings. Why is this year unlike all the other years?

Jaz: Yes.

Lulav: Okay.

Jaz: Which is just that Shabbat HaChodesh means that the haftarah we read changes so that's what we're reading but its not per say the haftarah for Yayekhel Pekudei, it's the haftarah for Shabbat HaChodesh which does not always line up.

Lulav: So how does that bounce around? Is it usually between like, Vayekhel Pekudei and Vayekra for Ki Tisa? Or does it range a lot more?

Jaz: This is a great question that I don't fully know the answer to because—

Lulav: Okay. 

Jaz: The Hebrew calendar is wildly confusing to me and—

Lulav: Mm hmm.

Jaz: The haftarah calendar is like, also somewhat confusing to me but there's a handful of special shabbatot—

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: During the year. Four of them to be precise, and they are Shabbat HaChodesh, Shabbat Zachor which we had just a few weeks ago before Purim— 

Lulav: Oh! Was that parsha Terumah?

Jaz: That was—

Lulav: That would explain why that made no sense. 

Jaz: Yes. It was. It was parsha Terumah. 

Lulav: Ach! Okay! 

Jaz: Which I think we alluded to briefly, but we didn't go into it as much. 

Lulav: Yeah, no we talked about how it was a setup for the next week's stuff. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: Oh that makes so much sense now! 

Jaz: So that's what this is doing too, basically, is it's a setup for where about to be entering Nissan which contains Pesach in the same way that that one was this is a setup for where about to be entering Purim. 

Lulav: Okay. 

Jaz: There are two more also. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And they are parshat Shekalim and parshat Parah. 

Lulav: And what are those for?

Jaz: (chuckles) That's a great question also. So I actually think parshat Shekalim was actually super recently like— 

Lulav: You mean like already happened?

Jaz: Yes. Sorry, we should have talked about it earlier. (Lulav giggles) So parshat Shekalim is also in preparation for Purim. 

Lulav: Ohhh. 

Jaz: But I don't think we talked about it because I don't think it directly impacts the haftarah cycle in the same way. 

Lulav: Mmm, okay. 

Jaz: There's just an additional thing that gets added to the regular Torah reading. 

Lulav: Ohhh. Okay. Thank you. 

Jaz: That's why we didn't talk about it, but it was recently in February. 

Lulav: Okay. So how long would you like to tell me about the parsha which is not particularly related to this haftarah? (giggles) 

Jaz: I want a minute and I am happy to tell you about the parsha and then I can also tell you how it would be related to the haftarah on a normal year, I checked. 

Lulav: Oh. Okay, sure. Ready, set, go. 

Jaz: Lots of detailed instructions this week. Observe shabbat and make a mishkan with blue, purple and crimson yarn, fine linen and the skin of a mysterious animal that is maybe a dolphin but we are not really sure. Also, goat hair spun by wise hearted women and all this building and crafting is organized by the Tzalel who is hella cool with his buddy Acholiab. People were so eager to help that they donated hella supplies and eventually Moses had to say, "hold up, that's too many supplies, no more please! We're swamped!". Then there were loops of gold and planks of acacia wood and fancy gold angels in the tent and a menorah and an altar of gold with incense that would definitely have given me a headache (Lulav chuckles) and some cool copper mirrors. Then Moses did a quick accounting to tell people where all their donations had gone and made fancy clothes for the priests with breast pieces in front of gold and symbolic jewels. That was everything and so Moses burned some stuff to say it's ready and holy and the presence of G-d came in the form of an alternating cloud or fire column that hung out in the middle of camp. 

Lulav: Badoop, badoop, badoop, badoop. Great job. Amazing. 

Jaz: Thanks. 

Lulav: Yeah, I've been increasingly sensitive to scents myself. Both you and Theo have like, major problems with them but I am also realizing alongside realizing that everything has soy in it and tomatoes, realizing that everything is scented. 

Jaz: It's very annoying that everything is scented. 

Lulav: What if we didnt without any warning, put lavender scent on trash bags?

Jaz: I am not as bad as some people in terms of scent sensitivity. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: But a whole thing that was like, this is our dedicated place to have incense would be a lot for me. 

Lulav: Uh huh. There's also meat stonk. How do you feel about meat stonk?

Jaz: I can live with that some more. I find the scents that just kind of linger in an apartment after somebody cooks—

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Is easier (Lulav giggles) than like, here is an artificial flower or a scented candle or whatever. 

Lulav: Yeah, for sure. So actually yeah, Vayakhel-Pekudei seems to have a lot more to do with this particular reading than I would have guessed based on your description, you know?

Jaz: What do you mean?

Lulav: Your initial description. There's stuff about what you put in a Temple which is exactly what we're reading today. 

Jaz: Yes. So the original reading from | Kings— 

Lulav: mm hmm. 

Jaz: Is very focused around like, this is what Solomon said when things were brought to the Temple. 

Lulav: Thanks Shlomo. 

Jaz: So it's a little bit more literal in its connections and were reading today more about sacrifices and stuff like that. So it is still connected a little bit but just not as directly. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. So... 

Jaz: Would you like to take us through it?

Lulav: I sure would. So the context here is that Yechezkiel has been spending like five chapters just recounting this vision where he was shown the Temple mount by an angel, I think. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: And so they've been walking around the Temple just measuring everything out and talking about what should be in it and this is a big thing because this is supposed to be the stationary mishkan that will be part of Yerushalayim when everybody comes back to the land out of exile. So were five chapters deep in that and we are talking about what things should be donated to the Temple and by whom. So there's a lot in here that you may remember if you were with us last year about sin offerings and meal offerings and stuff like that, but the new sort of information is that there's also a prince now. 

Jaz: Well, sure. 

Lulav: Is that fair, like we weren't talking about there being a king or anything when we were setting up what the practice of the mishkan looks like. 

Jaz: Right, but now we're talking about the practice of the Temple and the Temple was built by kings. 

Lulav: Uh huh. 

Jaz: So it's sort of, you update halacha to accord with the realities of the day, like the practices of the Jewish people grow with the Jewish people type of deal. 

Lulav: Uh huh. And I guess we did have that part in Torah that was like, well if you gotta have a king here's how you're going to do it. (laughs) 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: So part of this layout that had been talked about is that there's a north gate and a south gate and also a very special east gate which is where G-d comes into the Temple, according to this description, and also it is where the prince of Israel comes into the Temple. 

Jaz: Uh huh. 

Lulav: So that sure is definitely not blasphemy, hah hah. (laughs) Um, but anyway, the haftarah that we are reading for today starts off with kind of the summary line to a whole bunch of descriptions of what the whole of Yisrael is supposed to donate to the Temple. The line is just, "in this contribution, the entire population must join with the prince in Israel".

Jaz: Yes. 

Lulav: But interestingly, the prince actually does have the burden of providing burnt offerings, meal offerings, libations on festivals, new moons and shabbatot. Like, anytime there is a fixed occasion, that needs to be provided by the kingship. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: Which, at least he has that responsibility. We were marvelling at the fact that you had to sacrifice like, 49 cows and seven goats or like 98 cows. 

Jaz: And this makes sure the richest possible person does that. 

Lulav: (laughs) Yes. Exactly. So that at least is great, and there's some repeat as far as I can tell of stuff that was established in Torah where you cleanse the sanctuary with the corpse of a bull and do different sacrifices during the month. The festival of unleavened bread is established for like the 10th time in text. 

Jaz: Thats why were reading this part— 

Lulav: Yeah! 

Jaz: Is because it's specifically talking about preparing for Pesach— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: In a later way, right? This isn't just, oh yeah the Torah said do Pesach and then later in Tanakh they gave more details about how a later Jewish civilisation does Pesach. 

Lulav: Yeah, and it maintains a lot of the numerology, like over the course of seven days, you bring seven bowls and seven rams and one goat per day, which is 105 animals. 

Jaz: Which is so many. 

Lulav: And that is why it is being provided by the prince. (laughs) 

Jaz: Uh huh. 

Lulav: Plus also meal offerings and oil. 

Jaz: Yeah. Lulav, a quick question for you. 

Lulav: Yes please, Jaz. 

Jaz: As a matter of clarification—

Lulav: Mm hmm?

Jaz: Do you remember whether now in the post-temple era we, on our seder plates, have one of these animals, like— 

Lulav: Yeah! 

Jaz: Is there a lamb on our seder plate?

Lulav: Wait, a lamb is an infant sheep, right?  

Jaz: Is there a lamb bone on our seder plate?

Lulav: Yes. That is my impression. (laughs) Often it is replaced with a broiled egg, I think, because that cracks in some of the same ways that a lamb bone does. 

Jaz: That's fascinating. That is not a reading I've ever heard. 

Lulav: Oh, okay. 

Jaz: My seder plate has a shank bone on it, and also separately eggs. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: For things that have to do with more like, it's a spring festival, stuff about the roundness of the year and fertility and stuff like that, but even though there is traditionally the bone, there is not traditionally the eating of lamb in like, post-temple (Lulav giggles) Jewish sources. You have the bone to represent, but you don't actually eat lamb, that's why we have matzah ball soup as our Pesach soup rather than like, fancy lamb recipes. 

Lulav: I feel like part of that is, to borrow a Californian phrase, there's hella scarcity. 

Jaz: That's not- 'kay. 

Lulav: (laughs) You said hella twice in your short summary. 

Jaz: That was an accident but also you did it wrong. 

Lulav: What's the grammatical construction you would use there? Hella scarcity, right?

Jaz: Mmmmmmmm, sounds wrong. Anyway—

Lulav: Oh wait, we gotta get used to like, East coast aphorisms, so something like um... people were wicked hungry. 

Jaz: Ahhh. Ahhh. 

Lulav: Anyway, goodbye to all of the (laughs) the New England listeners. I love you and I'm so sorry. 

Jaz: Please make your own midwestern aphorisms so you can butcher your own dialect. 

Lulav: (laughs) Okay. So uh, I guess we didn't have bubblers in uh... (Jaz laughs) I'm so sorry. Okay. What I am trying to say here is that lamb was maybe just expensive and there was a lot of other stuff to focus on in terms of making a feast of unleavened bread then the kind of stuff that a prince would bring. 

Jaz: Okay. (Lulav giggles) So tell us some more. What else is happening?

Lulav: So in chapter 46 we talk about some like, physical layouts again. There's the gate of the inner court and it's closed for six days and then is open on Shabbat and at Rosh Chodesh for each month. Right? That's what the day of the new moon is?

Jaz: Mm hmm. Yeah. You can also see it here because in the Hebrew it says, "veyom hachodesh", because chodesh is really just an adjective meaning new. 

Lulav: (laughs) The new day. That's excellent. 

Jaz: The rest of the phrase is, "hachodesh ipatecha", like the day of the new opening, basically. On the day of the new, it opens. 

Lulav: Ohhh. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: That's great. I love that. So the prince comes through the foyer of this gate and like, a tense the specific sacrifice the things that he's bringing but the common people go in through the north and the south and they pass through the temple going all the way through but the prince just dips in, dips out through the G-d gate. How do you feel about that, Jaz?

Jaz: Well, so like on the one hand, hierarchy bad, but on the other hand it depends what the purpose— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Is here. The prince isn't doing anything there really, he's just going in and bowing. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And leaving and I wonder— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: It does not say this and I know it is explicated in more detail in later sources, but I do wonder a little but about the construction elements that are here, like maybe the rest of the people are worshipping at a place that can just accomodate all of them, you know? (Lulav chuckles) And there's a certain amount of like, maybe there's this other gate and it's very small. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. And also I don't know if this is actually part of the blocking, but it does kind of sound like it's the place for the prince to go to get all of his stuff out of the way, so like everybody sees these sacrifices, but the prince is just kind of like, bowing low near his own little door instead of like, there are 1000 people who come through but also here comes the prince, he's got this grand parade, everybody looks at the prince and sees all the beautiful bulls and rams that he brought. And instead of that it’s like, no — he dips in, he dips out, he's done. Pays his respects. 

Jaz: Right. 

Lulav: So hopefully that is what that blocking means rather than its a special gate for him to look really special. 

Jaz: I wonder if it's almost like the way actors sometimes are escorted out through a backdoor because otherwise everybody mobs them as they go out and so this is actually in that respect like a the prince goes in separately, bows separately, quietly and leaves and that way the people and doing their own bowing and paying attention to that (Lulav laughs) and not being like, "is the prince here? Did you see the prince? Can we get the prince's autograph?".

Lulav: Right. 

Jaz: Because the prince isn't going to be there. 

Lulav: That seems like the holiest way to do it in that holiness is related to putting your whole heart into something. 

Jaz: Hmmm. Also the English translates it as the common people and I know that that's like a fairly standard interpretation but just because it's sweet in some respects (Lulav giggles) it's also more complicated in some respects. Hebrew is "am haaretz''— 

Lulav: Oooh. The people of the land. 

Jaz: Yeah. There's different implications of that, like maybe it's because these are the people who live closer to the land which you could imagine people using it as an insulting way of like, oh yeah these are the people who hang out in the dirt all day or in a sense of like, the great unwashed or whatever but then like, there's also a— 

Lulav: Adam is an "ish haaretz". 

Jaz: Right. There's a certain amount of like, also they're people of the earth and were all kind of supposed to be people of the earth. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Anyway, that's operating there. A certain amount of like, and they do things together the way that like, if the prince is on his own, prince can’t have a minyan and everybody else can and post sacrifices we have prayers that you can only say with a group—

Lulav: Yeah. 

Jaz: And prayers are often supposed to be conceived of as replacing the sacrifices—

Lulav: Mmm. 

Jaz: And so it makes sense to me to think of it as like, there's some things with sacrifices that we only do as a group which is a thing that the prince doesn't have access to. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. Okay, so in the Sefardi tradition, the parsha wraps up just talking about more minutia of offerings and then in the Ashkenazi tradition, we have these last three lines where according to Hashem Itself, if the prince makes a gift to any of his sons, it will become their inheritance. It shall pass on to them it is their holding, but if he makes a gift from his inheritance to any of his subjects it shall only become to the latter until the year of release which I take to mean either the jubilee or the seventh year. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: And then it shall revert to the prince, and all of his inheritance has to go to his sons. 

Jaz: And the word for the seventh year in Hebrew is the shmita year and that's how I know it best— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And I think in English is the sabbatical year. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. So yeah, this really sets up what it means to be king as a separate thing from what it means to be a commoner, or a person of the land because there's this whole like, ah, anything that the kingship has, the kingship will continue to have but also in the last line here, the prince shall not take property away from people and rob them, so it's kind of setting up what fair treatment looks like where it’s, you know you get this hereditary wealth which can only go to you and the people who you have personally created in the world but also don't rob people! 

Jaz: “And the people you have personally created in the world” is such a generous reading. 

Lulav: Say more?

Jaz: This can only go to— 

Lulav: Oh! Right! Oh G-d. Yeah this can only go to the sons, huh. I forgot that women don't count as people in Jewish law. That's great. (chuckles) I'm screaming. (She's not screaming) 

Jaz: Now, admittedly— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: That doesn't have to be your interpretation (Lulav chuckles) because plural masculine can also grammatically be interpreted as mixed— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Groups cuz that’s how Hebrew has tended to work, but also a… lot of masculinity is a solitary prison so this is one of those things where like, just as the prince is off over there doing his own thing, this is a like, men are not allowed to share things even if they want to. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. Wow. Okay. (Jaz giggles) Anyway, there's a reason we don't have kings. 

Jaz: That's also wildly optimistic, the reason we don't have kings is because the kings were overthrown. 

Lulav: (laughs) I was more going for kings are actually ridiculous as an idea and like, even if you try they don't work out. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: And therefore they get overthrown. Thank you for that clarification. (laughs) 

Jaz: Fair enough, yeah. 

Lulav: Okay. 

Jaz: Anyway, beyond the takeaway of men can't share (Lulav laughs) do you have other readings of what's going on in this section that you wanna pick apart?

Lulav: I think I hit it pretty thoroughly, just the idea that like many things that people with wealth have set up, it makes sense if you have only ever always been within the paradigm of that stuff existing but if it doesn't exist it's like, hey, why are they doing things like this? 

Jaz: Mmm. 

Lulav: So question all of the structures that you grew up with and, you know, hopefully some of them stick around but probably none of them will. 

Jaz: And we gotta imagine better ones and maybe someday we will get better ones. 

Lulav: Uh... G-d willing. (laughs) 

Jaz: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a nice takeaway. I also am thinking about this thing of like, this idea that you can't give things away even if you want to. (Lulav chuckles) To me the way that that fits in your analysis—

Lulav: Okay. 

Jaz: Is like— 

Lulav: Ooh. Can I offer a thing?

Jaz: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Lulav: It's like, if you are the president of the United States you don't just get to sell the post office to whoever wants it. Like that's still the post office. You can't privitize that and you actually can because all political rules are fake, but, you know. 

Jaz: Yeah, I guess I was thinking about it both on that political level and then also on the like, where does that playout in gender types of—

Lulav: Oooh. 

Jaz: Level and to me that's a certain amount of like, here you have a man who's been given a certain part of like, male-related power, right?

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And if you imagine someone who's like, okay but this one is a good man and so he gave lots of stuff away, right?

Lulav: Thanks Warren. 

Jaz: And then then system is encoded such that like, okay but basically that didn't change anything for anybody, (Lulav chuckles) you know like it did on the short-term but it didn’t long-term, and the short-term—

Lulav: Uh huh. 

Jaz: Matters but the long-term matters also— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And they have left the conditions that he helped people with intact. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: You still are left with a problem. 

Lulav: Like the real estate market still exists and several real estates companies are owned by Berkshire Hathaway so it's not like Warren Buffett changed that much by giving away some of his money. 

Jaz: So there's that reading, definitely, and then there's also a certain amount of like, sometimes I think about what parts of gender as a system that exists are worth salvaging. 

Lulav: Oooh, yeah, I love that. 

Jaz: What parts do we want and, you know, sometimes I get asked questions by cis people, usually about like, well if we had a system that was like, man and women and nonbinary the whole time (Lulav chuckles) and people could switch between them, would that have solved the problem?

Lulav: Mmm. 

Jaz: And we can't, like this idea that you can say you can have a little bit of gender transition as a treat (Lulav laughs) but fundamentally societies still oriented around putting people in gendered boxes as a meaningful and useful way to organize humans. 

Lulav: Right. Like, you can have an x marker on your driver's license but you still need multiple letters from mental health professionals and if you don't have money, well you're not getting that and also it doesn't jive with every other system that also is rigidly gendered and just... (breaths) 

Jaz: Right, it's the yes. Maybe I could put an x on my driver's license question but also what if nobody had gender markers on their driver's licence?

Lulav: Right. May it be so swiftly and in our days. And like, before anybody gets on me about abolishing gender, I actually like having an F on my driver's license that I can show to people. The other part of that is it sure doesn't matter even a little bit if I go to the hospital, the intake dude isn't gonna look at my drivers license, he's just going to write down M, like, (chuckles) anyway I like what you were saying. We have to think about what systems were created and what systems were maintained and what we want outside of those. 

Jaz: Right. The thing I want is not a gender trinary, thank you very much. 

Lulav: (laughs) And then do we have a fourth gender called nontrinary? 

Jaz: I know. I know. Although only semi-relatedly I do have a little bit of a pet peeve— 

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: About like, I understand that there were good reasons that people didn't want to be called enbies and stuff, and it's not my favourite word of choice either. This has not meant, however, that more cis people are referring to me in super excellent ways! It just means that more people call me "a they" which is worse. 

Lulav: Uh huh. 

Jaz: Anyway. 

Lulav: Jaz, without the ceremony that one might accord to a prince bringing 105 animals, let's go into Rating G-d’s Writing. 

Jaz: Great. 

Lulav: And so I ask you today: if you were to celebrate this haftarah, would you come in through the north gate and pass to the south gate, come in through the south gate and pass through the north gate, come in through the north gate but like double back for some reason, come in through the east gate where basically nobody sees you, pay your respects and leave, or other. 

Jaz: This is so difficult. I'm so not geographically oriented. 

Lulav: Oh no! Okay. Let me sketch this. 

Jaz: I have gotten lost in the park that is next to my house (Lulav laughs) and wandered around in there for like an hour before I found my way back home. 

Lulav: Mm hmm. Okay, I am drawing a diagram right now. What color are commoners?

Jaz: Uhhhh, green like the earth. 

Lulav: Aw babe! That's exactly what I was gonna say! That’s cute. I love you. Okay. And then purple for the prince?

Jaz: Sure. 

Lulav: Okay, so we are going to copy that into Discord. (laughs) Here is your visual aid. These are the recommended ways that people travel through the temple when they are bringing sacrifices unlike festival days. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: Do you follow one of these, and if so which OR do you do something completely different?

Jaz: I like this question.

Lulav: Aw, thanks.

Jaz: I think that I go in one of the commoner directions. It doesn't matter which one.

Lulav: (giggles) The text doesn't think so either. (laughs)

Jaz: And while we're there, I secretly bring in a little folding ladder that goes up to the area where the prince comes in. I'm assuming it's like an elevated area but maybe it's not.

Lulav: Uh huh. I had the same thought too, I don't know.

Jaz: The little balcony.

Lulav: Uh huh.

Jaz: And it has a little Chelm-type sign on the ladder that says, "Please don't climb up. This is a ladder only for climbing down," where the prince can go join me with everybody else.

Lulav: Oh that's fun. Oh I like that. Like, the prince can join everybody else, but only if he climbs butt-backwards down a ladder.

Jaz: Yeah. (both laugh)

Lulav: I love that. Thank you. What's my rating?

Jaz: Well, this is what's happening on the day of a new moon. Your rating is, what day of the month would you give this haftarah?

Lulav: Oooh, okay. So you know how sometimes I'm like, oh I really want to do this thing and then I dither about what the exact right ways are to do a thing and then it's like five weeks later and the thing has already passed?

Jaz: Yes.

Lulav: Okay, so I am going to rate this haftarah the third day, which I think is, what? Waxing crescent? Something like that. Anyway (laughs) um, the third day of the lunar cycle because I wanted to make it for Rosh Chodesh and just executive dysfunctioned out of it, I was worrying about like, oh, do I bring a pigeon or a turtle dove or a whole dang bull or just some money or whatever. Do I even like the concept of temple worship? Is this a thing? So there was enough dithering about that that I still came, just didn't come at the right time.

Jaz: Yeah.

Lulav: And I think that also is representative of the fact that like, we are reading this from a different time where temple worship hasn't existed for 1950 years. Um (laughs)—

Jaz: Yes, although I do feel like sometimes we approach our modern traditions that do exist with a similar eye to be honest of like—

Lulav: Yeah, that's fair.

Jaz: This is a thing that does exist. Do I think it should work like that? Do I believe in that? What do the sources say? How do I feel about the sources?

Lulav: Dude, that's so real. 

Jaz: Do I feel like I have to agree with that ancient rabbi? I want to know what they said, but is it right?

Lulav: (laughs) This is also representative of how I will sometimes remember that it is time for shabbat services three days later.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: (laughs) Anyway, Jaz can you take us to the close?

Jaz: I can. Thanks for listening to Kosher Queers! If you like what you’ve heard, you can support us on Patreon at patreon.com/kosherqueers, which will give you bonus content and help us keep making this for you. Also, if you can’t commit to ongoing support but would still like to contribute, you can give to our Ko-fi, which is at ko-fi.com/kosherqueers. Find out more information about our podcast, including bios for our team, and links to our social media at kosherqueers.gay. Also, please spread the word about Kosher Queers. Our artwork is by the talented Lior Gross. Our music is courtesy of the fabulous band Brivele, whose work you can find on Bandcamp. Go buy their album and preorder their new one. Our sound production this week is done by our excellent audio editor, Ezra Faust.
 
Lulav: Jaz Twersky and Reuben Shachar Rose make sure every episode is fully transcribed. You can find a link to those in the episode descriptions at kosherqueers.gay, where you can also see if Jaz and Shachar roped in additional help for the episode. Also I just wanted to double back and say Ezra, thank you so much. I know I often do not write responses to your emails but just know that everything you do is wonderful and we couldn’t do it without you. Mwah. (Jaz laughs) Jaz, where are you?
 
Jaz: I’m Jaz Twersky and you can find me @WordNerdKnitter on Twitter. I recorded this audio on the traditional lands of the Lenape people.
 
Lulav: I’m Lulav Arnow and you can find me @spacetrucksix on Twitter, or yell at me at @palmliker! I recorded this audio on the traditional lands of the Wahpékute Dakota.
 
Jaz: Have a lovely queer Jewish day.

[Brivele outro]

Lulav: This week's gender is: oh no, what do you mean I have a body?

Jaz: This week's pronouns are: it/its.